mel_pa (mel_pa) wrote in assertiveness,
mel_pa
mel_pa
assertiveness

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Overprotectiveness Question

Is it common for an adult who
becomes assertive to their overbearing
and/or overprotective parents to have
peers accusing the adult of being "selffish"
peers attempting to make you feel bad because
"that's what parents are SUPPOSED to do,
it's 'unnatural' for (grown) children to talk
back to their parents", "If your parents didn't do
that then they are 'bad parents", etc? Dealing
with overbearing/overprotective parents is a common
reason people seek assertiveness training.
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Unfortunately, some people will always judge what you do. Still, Other people will be on your side. "You can't please ALL the people all the time." But you can please yourself, and be happy with your decision. I'm proud of you! Here's to not being a doormat! ^-^
It depends on the peers. Many people who don't have overprotective parents don't know what you are talking about. They may interpret your parents' behaviour as something they would LIKE (!) Maybe they miss SOME of that behaviour from THEIR parents, or their parents do it, but in a different way (less overbearing, less intensity or not so often). You might also be HSP (highly sensitive) - but your feelings are still valid!!

It also depends how you actually go about it. It is quite common for people to bounce between doormat-tank-assertive and up and down again, usually we don't just magically become assertive to begin with.

'Selfish' is just a label - everyone is selfish to a certain extent - even if they want to help people, that can be considered as 'selfish' - they might feel better after that, feel they're doing the right thing...!

Loving ASSERTIVE communication takes time to master, and we're still learning on the way!!
Here's to becoming more and more assertive, YAY!!