I really like the idea of writing down the insults or things that bug you and then come up with effective answers (humorous or direct) at home in your free time!
I've done something similar already, wrote imaginary interviews of 'worst questions people might ask me' or things they might say... coming up with answers in advance can be of real help!
http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing11.html This is mainly about the different possible techniques of manipulation (with a fascination to cults) - it doesn't say how to resist it though, oddly enough!
While this looks like a marriage from hell (this is from 1979, though)http://ftp.lib.sk.ca/booksinfo/WesternProducer/1979/WP790913.html the answer is a bit foggy but maybe the books recommended could be worth reading? Might take a look one day...