andreya (andreya) wrote in assertiveness,

Assertiveness & Romance & Other Relationships

Can lack of assertiveness break romantic relationships?
Or prevent them from developing in the first place?

A post in a_broken_heart sparked this idea.

If you keep being a doormat for a long time, and keep letting the other person win while suppressing your own wishes, or never let the needs of the other person be met, the relationship might not last that long.
On the other hand, some people persist in bad relationships. But would you want to?

The 'trap' may be to think 'If s/he really loved me, s/he wouldn't do that!'
Well, most people do not have very much developed psychic abilities. And may cross our boundaries unaware there were any. Or we might cross theirs.

Communication is important. But sometimes words are not enough, and actions might speak louder.

So, the task for this week is to think how we want to be treated and how we treat others, and what seems fair. And pull away if the relationship doesn't seem to be a fair one, and we have been giving too much. Then, we will see either that the person will be willing to change, or we will meet other people and do things we really like. So it's a win-win situation anyway!! (Word of caution: only do this if you are willing to accept the possibility the other person might NOT like 'the new you' or 'new plans'.)

On the other hand, if we have been doing too little... it might be nice to do something good for the other person, talk about their wishes...

Tell me what you think about this...
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